A Forgotten Bond
by Generally A-OK Teen
Summary: Blaine Anderson and Jesse St. James were once best friends. However, their once-close relationship has been diminished by Jesse's disappearance to UCLA this year. What will happen when they are brought together once again?  Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first ever fic… It's an idea/fantasy which has been floating around in my head for a while, so I thought it was about time I shared it with you lovely people!**

Blaine Anderson gazed out of the window of his father's BMW, his thoughts a million miles away from the conversation his parents were having in the front of the car. Instead, his mind conjured up images of his best friend. Blaine hadn't seen him since last summer. His fingers, for no real reason, traced the stitching of his black jeans as he pictured Jesse St. James lying on his stomach beside him on the grass by Blaine's house, looking out over the lake as Blaine's eyes watched him, trying to memorise every part of him before he left for college.

It seemed so long ago now. They had promised to keep in contact – they were going to talk to each other almost every day on the phone as far as they were concerned. Neither expected to ever lose touch. Of course, back then, Blaine couldn't imagine life without his best friend. No matter what Jesse had done last year, no matter what he had been pressured into by those Vocal Adrenaline numbskulls, Blaine had always stood by him. He knew what Jesse was really like – caring, kind and good-humoured Jesse, not the cruel, self-centred asshole persona he adopted in front of other people – people who didn't know him at all, or bother to try to get to know him. Nothing was ever going to change their relationship. Or so Blaine had thought.

So much had happened since the last time they saw each other. They had hung out together all the time growing up – the close friendship of their parents ensured that. This past year, however, the two had completely lost contact. Blaine had changed a lot. He had become so close to the New Directions, most of all Kurt, but he had also really bonded with Rachel. How was he supposed to carry on being friends with Jesse now?

His musings were interrupted by the gruff sound of his father's voice. "So, Blainey boy, excited to see your old friend again?"

"Yeah, Dad, can't wait." Blaine smiled towards the back of his father's head, his eyes lingering for a moment on the thick black curls which covered it – the curls Blaine had inherited from him. His mind once again drifted back to last summer.

"Next year, I'm going to audition to be the lead singer of the Warblers," he had proudly declared.

Jesse, who had been playing absent-mindedly with the hem of Blaine's jeans, had looked up on hearing this. "Fantastic! Finally following in my footsteps and taking charge? I like it."

"Yeah, yeah," Blaine chuckled, "I mean it though. Next year, I'm gonna be in control. I'll get back the confidence I used to have. You know, before the… Before I transferred." Jesse nodded and smiled weakly at this. "I'll be a new Blaine. Cool. Assertive. And I'll gel these damn curls down – once and for all."

Jesse's eyes had almost popped right out of his head at that. "No! Not the curls! I won't let you. They're so… Adorable. They're just… They're… You."

"Mmhmm," Blaine had scoffed, "Except you won't be here next year, Mr. UCLA, remember? You're abandoning me and my mop of stupid curls for bigger and better things."

"Oh, shut up, will you? You _know_ I don't want to leave you behind. You… Can't we just enjoy the rest of the summer?"

And so they had. God, Blaine missed those days. Everything was so simple. He missed hanging out with Jesse by the lake, or in his room… Especially when his parents were both working.

Just then, Blaine was brought back to reality by the sudden loss of the noise of his car's engine. They had arrived at the St. James house.

* * *

><p>Correction – They had arrived at the St. James <em>mansion. <em>Blaine had forgotten how beautiful and _huge_ their place was. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the car door open and joined his parents on the front porch. His mother smiled warmly at him before turning to ring the doorbell with a perfectly-manicured finger.

Seconds later, Maria St. James pulled open the large oak door, grinning from ear to ear. After greeting Blaine's parents, she tugged him into the house and a tight embrace.

"Blaine! We've missed you so much! Why haven't you come to visit us at all this year?" she gushed, not stopping to take a breath, let alone give Blaine a chance to respond, "Working hard, I assume? Karen here tells me you're top of your class. _And _lead singer of the Warblers? I suppose, you have been busy!"

Blaine nodded, giggling half from embarrassment and half from excitement.

"Come in, come in! Karen, Robert, why don't we head into the living room and catch up? Blaine, I assume you still remember where Jesse's room is – Or would you prefer to stay in one of the guest rooms? I just thought you might like-"

"Jesse's room will be absolutely fine," Blaine interrupted her. (How else was he meant to get a word in?) "I'll just go dump my stuff there now. Is he here?"

"No, he's not," Maria launched off again, "He's just out seeing some old friends – Hasn't been home at all since last summer, as I'm sure you know. Always busy, always off doing something! He should be home before dinner, though, which will be in about an hour."

"Great," Blaine breathed, silently hoping Jesse's mother couldn't hear the frantically beating wings of the butterflies in his stomach, or the even louder (and much more real) thud of his heartbeat. "I'll, uh, get settled and see you in a bit?"

"Perfect." Maria beamed at him as he turned and practically skipped down the hallway to Jesse's wing. (Mansion, remember?)

He swiftly reached the door to Jesse's bedroom and, with a slightly shaky hand, pushed it open and crept into the familiar space.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**A/N: First of all, a huge thanks to those who read the first chapter, and an even bigger thanks to those who reviewed it. Much appreciated.**

Tossing his bag on Jesse's king-size bed, Blaine looked around him at the surroundings he knew so well. The room was large, with a lot of empty space (Jesse had taken most of his stuff with him to Los Angeles), but Blaine still felt extremely comfortable there. Of course, that didn't change the anxious feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Nervously smoothing down his shirt, he strode into the en suite to inspect his appearance. He chuckled quietly at the lights which bordered Jesse's mirror, remembering the countless times he had mocked him about it. Jesse would always have a retort ready, although he had never become truly angry at Blaine. They never fell out.

"Snap out of it, Blaine," he whispered to himself, shaking his head and attempting to bring himself back to the present. He wondered when Jesse would be home. It wouldn't be the first time Blaine had been left waiting for him. Sighing slightly, he contemplated his options to pass the time. He wasn't in the mood to be the object of his mother's show-and-tell at that moment.

Still staring at his reflection in the mirror, Blaine allowed his gaze to rest on his slicked back hair. After just a moment's deliberation, he turned on the tap and waited for the water to heat up. Well, he didn't want to seem too different to Jesse – He was just ensuring the least possible amount of awkwardness. Not that it was ever awkward between them. Would this be awkward?

"Stop panicking!" he whispered, his head colliding with the mirror in exasperation. "Ouch!"

Ducking his head, he began to rinse the thick coat of gel from his hair. He tried with all his might to ease his growing nervousness, which was beginning to devour his excitement. _It's just Jesse,_ he thought. _What the hell are you worrying about?_

When the last of the gel had trickled down the drain, he turned off the tap, grabbed a towel from the linen closet and dried off his hair. "It'll have to do,"he muttered, glancing once again at his reflection before striding back into Jesse's bedroom, humming softly to himself.

His breath caught in his chest when he saw the young man stretched out on the bed, rifling through Blaine's belongings as if they were his own.

"Still talking to yourself, Blainey?" Jesse leapt off the bed, grinning from ear to ear, and wrenched the younger boy into his arms. Blaine smiled into his shoulder, then yelped when the stronger man lifted him up and spun him around. Jesse set him back down gently, sniggering at the stunned face before him. "Aren't you going to say anything? Or are conversations more of a private thing for just you and the numerous characters inside your head?"

Blaine punched him playfully on the arm, smiling. "Long time no see, St. James," he smirked, jokingly adding, "I'm surprised you even remember me after all this time and all the exciting things I'm sure you've been doing without me this year."

"How could I ever forget my amazing best friend and protégé?" Jesse asked, mock-offended.

"Protégé? Really?" Blaine laughed. It was then he realised that Jesse's hands were still resting on his waist. Sighing, he looped his arms around his neck. "I missed you," he said in a quiet voice.

"I missed you too," Jesse whispered. "Um… Blaine?"

"Yes?"

"Why is your hair all wet?"

"Oh, uh…" Blaine pulled away, embarrassed. "Well, you see, I had it gelled back, and I didn't…. I didn't think you would like it. I just thought… You know, things have changed enough," he stuttered. He hadn't stuttered all year, and now he was talking to the one person around whom he was most comfortable, and he was struggling to get his words out?

They stared at each other for a moment, until Jesse burst out laughing. Blaine rolled his eyes. "It's not funny! I was nervous, okay? I didn't know what to expect…"

"Oh my God, you're such a worrier. Honestly, Blaine, you were nervous? To see _me?_"

"We haven't talked all year, Jesse." Blaine looked down at his shoes.

"Yeah, I know." Jesse scratched his head. "Blaine, I don't know what happened these past few months, but…. You're still my best friend, you know?"

"I know," Blaine grumbled, "Although I think that's a rather condensed view of our messed-up relationship, don't you?"

Jesse rolled his eyes at this, snickering. "Can we save the in-depth analysis of our complicated bond for later? I'm hungry."

"Sure."

* * *

><p>Dinner went by slowly, though it wasn't unpleasant. They talked about the Warblers, and UCLA, and after explaining where Jesse's father was (on a business trip, buying a yacht or house or something – Blaine wasn't really listening), Maria informed them of the life story of every one of their neighbours. Thankfully, Blaine's parents were too engulfed in the discussion about the affair the woman across the street was having with her gardener to bring up Kurt. He would tell Jesse about him at a later stage, when they were alone and the timing was right.<p>

Occasionally, Jesse's hand would brush Blaine's knee under the table, often resting there for a minute or two. Blaine's whole body seemed to shudder at his touch, though it was anything but unwelcome.

After the meal, the two teenagers excused themselves from the table, making a beeline for Jesse's bedroom. Jesse stopped abruptly when they reached the door, causing Blaine to bump into him. Giggling, he watched as Jesse turned slowly to face him. He regained seriousness when he saw the pensive expression on the older boy's face.

"Blaine… I need to ask you something," he said cautiously. "I need to know - Do you have a boyfriend?"

Blaine froze at this. He did have a boyfriend. He most definitely had a boyfriend. So why wasn't he answering Jesse immediately? Why did he not want him to know about Kurt?

"No," he lied, fully aware of the trouble this would cause later, "I don't have a boyfriend."

"Oh," Jesse breathed, pausing for a moment before saying "Good."

And with that, he grabbed Blaine's hips, pulling him into the room and slamming him against the wall. Blaine grasped the curls at the back of Jesse's neck, smashing their lips together as his other hand shoved the door shut beside them.

It was as if their two bodies instinctively kicked into action, impulses eliminating all rational thought. Jesse's body glued itself to Blaine's, pushing his back flat against the wall. Both moaned as their half-hard members ground together. Blaine closed his eyes, opening his mouth and granting Jesse entrance. He groaned as Jesse's tongue swirled around his. _God, this feels amazing, _he thought.

He had forgotten all about Kurt, Rachel, and pretty much anything outside of this room. His hands clutched desperately at the taller man's shoulders as he felt Jesse's lips move along his jawline and down his neck, sucking and biting the sensitive skin roughly.

"Oh, God," he panted, "Jesse, God, Jesse…" The older boy's talented hands were now running up and down Blaine's sides. Blaine whimpered as he felt one hand pushing the hem of his shirt up, gripping the skin of his lower back.

Blaine's hands trailed down the toned, muscular body they knew so well, fumbling with the button on Jesse's jeans. He slipped one hand into Jesse's boxers, taking hold of his throbbing erection.

"Blaine," Jesse gasped, burying his head into the shorter boy's shoulder. They were both breathing heavily now, overcome by lust. Blaine stroked him vigorously, making him pant and moan. Grinding into Blaine's hand, Jesse yanked open the button and zipper of Blaine's jeans harshly. He removed Blaine's hand from his boxers. Confused, Blaine let his head fall back against the wall and he fixed the man before him with a questioning look.

"Tonight is about you," Jesse whispered, pressing their foreheads together. "Now why don't I show you just how much I missed you?" Blaine grinned broadly as the tall man dropped to his knees, pulling his jeans and boxer-briefs down to his ankles in one swift, forceful movement. Jesse looked up at him as he stroked him gently. "You're amazing, Blaine," he breathed out. And with that, he took Blaine's member all the way into his mouth, his cheeks hollowing out, sucking hard, and _God, _he was good at this.

Blaine closed his eyes tightly as he fell into ecstasy, Jesse's skilled mouth reducing him to a puddle of whimpers and moans. Jesse's tongue danced and twisted around his cock as he sucked.

As Blaine came closer and closer to breaking point, one of Jesse's hands moved to caress his balls, the other moving into his own pants to stroke himself as he listened to Blaine's groans of pleasure.

"Jesse, Jesse, God," Blaine choked out. "I'm gonna… I'm gonna… Jesse!" he half-screamed, half-whispered as his breath hitched in his chest. They came together, Jesse pumping his own cock as he swallowed around Blaine. When his cock became too sensitive, Jesse released it from his mouth, falling back into a slumped sitting position on the floor.

Blaine slid down the wall, panting heavily, not bothering to pull up his pants or underwear. They stared at each other through heavily-lidded eyes until Jesse stood up and went to clean himself off. Blaine staggered over to the bed, shoved his belongings onto the floor and collapsed onto it, still in pure bliss. Rolling onto his side, he tugged up his underwear lazily, kicking his jeans off and letting his eyes slip shut. After a few minutes, Jesse joined him, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy. Neither was quite sure what to say, so they simply fell asleep in that position, Jesse holding Blaine like he had done so many times before.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**A/N: ****I'm really enjoying writing this story, hope you're enjoying reading it! Reviews are always much appreciated..!**

**This chapter ain't exactly heavy on the smut, but don't worry, it shall soon return, and it will be much stronger than before.**

**I s****till don't own Glee, Darren Criss or the Groff. *Stifles sob***

Blaine woke the next morning alone in Jesse's bed. He slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position, rubbing his eyes as the events of the previous night came flooding back into his mind. "Jesse?" he called, yanking the covers off and making his way to the bathroom. He smirked as he passed the untouched air mattress on the floor. His jeans lay in a crumpled pile where he had kicked them off last night, his shirt lying a few inches away from them.

He exhaled heavily as he reached the bathroom, studying himself in the mirror. So, he had spent the night in his underwear, in the arms of the guy who had crushed the New Directions last year. Kurt would totally understand… Not. Groaning, he removed his one remaining article of clothing and stepped into Jesse's large, immaculate shower.

_You idiot, _Blaine mentally scorned himself as he was attacked by a stream of cold water. (Yes, cold - like he wasn't going to be horny after last night.) _This is just great, Blaine. Way to get yourself into yet another perfectly fantastic situation. _He leaned his head against the cool wall, wondering what the hell he was going to do next. He loved Kurt – he was almost sure of it. But seeing Jesse again had reawakened so many old feelings. He was a mess of confusion, regret and, most of all, hormones.

Five minutes later, Blaine was dressed and making his way down the corridor which led from Jesse's wing to the main part of the house. Where the hell had he disappeared to? "Jesse?" he shouted. No answer. "Stupid giant house," he muttered, becoming steadily more frustrated until he realised that given the noises coming from Jesse's room last night, it was probably best that the rest of the mansion was so detached from it.

Finally he reached the kitchen. Scanning the luxurious room, his gaze fell upon a note which was propped up against a bowl (which was home to a very exotic-looking array of fruit) on one of the granite countertops.

"_Dear Jesse and Blaine,_

_We've decided to take advantage of this beautiful Saturday morning and play some golf._

_Will probably__ have lunch at the club, home before 4."_

Although Blaine was thankful for some alone time with Jesse, there was still the matter of finding him. He was just contemplating sending out a search party when he heard the front door bang.

Leaning against a pristine magnolia wall, he watched as his best friend waltzed into the room, hands laden with two coffees and a bag filled with what Blaine could only guess were pancakes. (It was sort of their thing.) "Chocolate chip for me, plain for you," Jesse announced, setting their breakfast down on the island which separated them.

Blaine couldn't help the wide grin from spreading across his face. "You remembered?" he smirked.

"Blaine, what do you take me for?" Jesse shook his head. "Of course I remembered." He opened a cupboard, pulling out two plates and sitting on a stool beside the island. Blaine hopped onto the stool next to Jesse's, and for five or so minutes they simply enjoyed their breakfast, their conversation remaining light. Blaine explained where the adults were, and then they discussed simple, neutral topics, such as the weather and… Well, that was it, really.

"Well," Jesse said happily as he dumped their plates into the sink, "That was delicious, if I do say so myself."

"If you say so yourself?" Blaine sniggered, "Right, because you put so much hard work into making the whole six-minute drive to the café."

"Well…" Jesse replied, leaning over Blaine's shoulder to whisper into his ear, "After the events of last night, I may have been just a little too tired to cook. Please excuse me."

Blaine tensed up at this. He could feel Jesse's breath hot against his neck – he wasn't moving away. Then he felt a strong hand on his thigh, and he was pulled around to face the tall man who was now staring down at him with lust-filled eyes. The younger boy gulped. "M-maybe now is the t-time for us to have that t-t-talk," he stuttered, "About our, um, our relationship."

A mixture of uncertainty and rejection appeared in Jesse's eyes, but he quickly regained his confident demeanour. "I think I need to do just a bit more research before I can properly discuss such things," he smirked.

Suddenly, his lips were on Blaine's. His hands gripped the younger boy's hips as he moved closer, bending down and pressing their chests together.

"No," Blaine murmured against the other boy's lips, "We should stop."

"I know you, Blaine," Jesse breathed, "And I know you want this as much as I do." Then he joined their mouths once again, making Blaine's stomach somersault.

_Damn him and his talented fucking lips, _he thought. Jesse was right – he did want this. He wanted it so badly, just like he had on every other occasion in the past. But things were different now – he had a boyfriend. He reminded himself that Jesse was completely unaware of this.

"No!" he cried, using all of his strength to shove his best friend away.

Jesse held up his hands in surrender. "Whoa, whoa, okay, I'm sorry," he said. Blaine could tell that he meant it.

"It's not your fault."

"No, you're right; we should talk before things get too messed up."

Blaine turned his head, fixing his gaze on the wall.

"Hey," Jesse said quietly, moving to reclaim his position on the stool next to Blaine's. "Hey," he repeated, gently turning the younger boy's head to face him. "Come on, let's talk. We can be completely honest with each other, remember?"

Damn it. Removing Jesse's hand from his face, Blaine stared at his shoes for a few seconds, until finally he blurted out "I lied to you."

A few more seconds of silence. Then, "What are you talking about?"

"When you asked me whether I had a boyfriend, I… I lied." He stole a glance towards his friend, who was now drumming his fingers on the counter.

"Oh."

"I…" He took a deep breath. "I'm… dating Kurt Hummel."

Jesse's head shot up. "_Kurt Hummel?"_

Blaine exhaled slowly. "Yes."

"From _McKinley?_" Jesse sounded utterly shocked – which was a rare occurrence.

"Uh-huh." Blaine was watching the other boy's reactions intently, trying to figure out what was going on inside his head. Jesse gazed around the room for a minute or two, lost in thought.

"Okay," he finally announced. "So… You lied because you didn't want to make it awkward, I guess?" Blaine didn't respond. "I mean… I always thought Kurt was alright. You know, he's a good guy…" Jesse was talking more to himself than Blaine.

They sat awkwardly for a moment. Then Jesse was hit by a realisation. "He doesn't know about us," he said slowly, "Does he? I mean, about us being friends… Or, whatever we are?" Blaine shook his head, unable to conjure up any words. He wasn't feeling at all like a good person right now.

"Well, that's just fine," Jesse articulated, and Blaine could hear the hurt and anger building in his voice, "You know what, Blaine, clearly you're ashamed of me, so why don't you just run off with _Kurt?_" he almost spat, his face contorting in resentment as his lips formed the name of Blaine's boyfriend. "Don't mind me. I hope you're very happy together."

Jumping up from his seat, he stormed out of the room, leaving Blaine slumped on his stool, lost for words. He groaned loudly, turning around so that he could bang his head against the counter. "Fuck, fuck, _fuck_!" he exclaimed. How had he managed to handle that so terribly? And God, he hadn't even mentioned Rachel. He was a terrible friend… Or whatever the hell they were.

He glanced at the clock. It was almost eleven. They would have the house to themselves for at least another four hours.

"Okay," he breathed, dragging himself off the stool. He was going to fix this. He was just going to talk to Jesse, apologise to him, attempt to justify his lies, and everything would be fine… He hoped.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**A/N: ****So, it seems that some people are a teensy bit unhappy with the amount of lying Blaine's been doing in this story. Basically, although I really like Blaine as a character, he's just a little too squeaky clean for my liking. So, in this story, I'm making him flawed. Quite flawed. And that's just the way it's gonna be!**

**That said, I loooove hearing your thoughts. Your feedback makes me feel special! :)**

**I don't own Glee, I don't own these characters, blah blah blah…**

**And now, it's Blesse time. (Like Chico time, but with more sexual tension.)**

Blaine ran a hand through his still-damp hair as he made his way into the foyer. He stopped when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.

"Hello?" he answered, trying his best to sound like his usual calm, cheerful self.

"Blaine, hi!" came the high-pitched sound of his boyfriend's chipper voice. "So, I know you're spending the weekend with a family friend and everything, but I miss you!" he gushed. "How are you?"

"Fine, I'm fine," Blaine replied, perhaps a little too quickly. "How are you? What are you up to?"

"I'm good, just about to take Carole shopping. She is in desperate need of some new shoes, and my dad gave us his credit card. Foolish man," Kurt giggled. Blaine smiled at the sound. "So, what are you doing today? You didn't give me many details before you left."

"Uh…" Blaine racked his brains for a lie to tell his boyfriend. My god, he was rapidly becoming _that guy. _"I don't know," he answered (honestly enough). "But… We're actually just about to have breakfast," he continued (honesty-free). "I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay, okay. Anyway, I have some severe stepmom remodelling to do."

"Right," Blaine chuckled. "Oh, and Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"I miss you too."

"Well, of course you do. I'm _fantastic._" Blaine laughed loudly at this. God, he really did miss Kurt. How could he have such strong feelings for two people at once? "Bye, Blaine!"

"Bye. Talk to you later."

Stuffing his phone into the back pocket of his blue jeans, he took a deep breath and walked back to Jesse's room. He knew exactly where his friend would be. Jesse always worked out when he was frustrated. Blaine could hear feet crashing down angrily onto the treadmill, which he knew to be located in Jesse's private gym down the hallway.

Collapsing onto the air mattress in the middle of the room, Blaine sighed heavily. He looked up at the bed a few feet away and allowed the memories to drift through his mind.

* * *

><p>"Mom! Mom!" the nine-year-old Blaine yelled, skipping into the Anderson kitchen with a frantic expression on his face. "Did you call Maria?"<p>

"It's Mrs. St. James, Blaine," his mother scolded him. "Respect for grown-ups, remember?"

"Okay, okay, Mrs. St. James," he whined. "Did you call her?" He was hopping from one foot to the other, giddy with excitement.

"Yes, Jesse is going to be staying over on Saturday night – that's assuming you are going to be a perfectly-behaved young man between now and then!"

"YES!" Blaine squealed, throwing his arms around her. "I will! I'll be _so_ good, Mom. And then we can play with my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and we can watch Star Wars, and we can…" He babbled on about every possible activity he could imagine them doing, and Karen grinned, occasionally looking up from the recipe book she was studying closely to ruffle her son's mane of curly black hair, or to prevent him from running into the kitchen table as he bounced around it, consumed in his planning for the sleepover.

Her attention was pulled away from thoughts of the perfect chicken curry when she saw her son stop in his tracks, standing entirely still as he asked "Hey Mom, can Jesse sleep in my bed?"

"What?" she responded, "Blaine, why would you want him to stay in your bed? There won't be enough room."

"But when I stayed in Jesse's house last week, I slept in _his _bed. And there was plenty of room, and it was _so _much better than sleeping on my stupid own."

Karen regarded her child, perplexed.

"Actually, he has a double bed, so I guess that's why there was so much room. Still, I'm small, I think we'll be able to fit." Blaine folded his arms thoughtfully. "Hang on. I'll go measure!" he said eagerly, bounding out of the room.

* * *

><p>Blaine suddenly noticed that the noise of the treadmill had disappeared. Sitting up, he spotted the now all-grown-up Jesse leaning against the doorframe, a towel hanging loosely from his shoulders. They looked at each other for a few moments. It was Jesse who broke the silence.<p>

"Why didn't you tell me about you two?" he enquired quietly. "We've always been totally honest with each other. Or was that all in my head?"

"No," Blaine grumbled, "Of course not." He glanced around the room. He wasn't sure if he even knew the answer to Jesse's question. "I don't know why I didn't tell you. It was the heat of the moment, I guess, and I just…" He stared at his hands, which were now fidgeting anxiously. "I hadn't seen you in so long, you know?"

He heard a sigh come from the doorway. "Yeah, I know." A few seconds later, Jesse had joined him on the mattress, their shoulders almost touching, but not quite.

"I'm sorry," Blaine said earnestly, lifting his head to look into Jesse's eyes.

The older boy's eyes searched his for a moment, deciding whether they were sincere. "I know you are," he said softly, a meek smile appearing on his face.

"Jesse, I don't know what the hell we are, and I don't know what I'm supposed to think about us," Blaine declared, in complete truthfulness. "All I know is, I've fucking missed you this year, and I don't want the first time we've seen each other in months to be ruined by whatever awkwardness the outside world is forcing on us."

The taller of the two snickered slightly. "The outside world? We're not kids anymore, Blaine. We can't just block everything out and hide away together like we used to."

"Why not?" Blaine cried desperately. He was becoming emotional now, and it was beginning to show. "I'm staying here for one more night, then it's back to Dalton with me and back to your awesome new college life with you. I don't know when I'm going to see you again." He stared into the blue eyes which were now watching his every move.

Jesse turned his body towards the younger boy, gently patting his knee. He seemed to be struggling to find the right thing to say, so for a minute or two they just sat there, looking into each other's eyes as Jesse rubbed soothing circles into Blaine's leg. At some point, Blaine's hand moved to rest on the other boy's shoulder, fumbling with the matted, sweaty brown hair at the back of his neck. Then Jesse closed his eyes, breathing slowly and heavily.

"What about Kurt?" he whispered, his hand coming to a stop, gripping Blaine's knee firmly.

"I don't know," Blaine responded. "I just… don't know. Can't we just worry about everything else later?" he begged. "Can't we go back to the way it was, just for an hour or two?"

Jesse slowly opened his eyes. "Blaine," he pleaded, "You know we shouldn't be doing this." He paused slightly, then – "You also know that I can't say no to you." He licked his lips subconsciously, his gaze shifting to the hand Blaine was now running cautiously down his chest, coming to rest on the waistband of Jesse's sweatpants.

"This is the last time," Blaine whispered, moving closer. "I promise."

Jesse groaned as he watched Blaine jerk the towel off his shoulders, tossing it to the floor, and move to straddle him. He leaned down, capturing Jesse's lips in a passionate kiss, his tongue pushing its way into the older boy's mouth. Jesse let himself fall backwards, pulling Blaine with him. Their hands roamed frantically, clutching at the clothes which separated them. Blaine sat up abruptly, pulling his shirt over his head and ogling the gorgeous man beneath him.

Jesse took this opportunity to flip them over, sucking and biting his way down Blaine's chest as their growing erections grinded together. He sat up briefly to allow the shorter boy to pull his T-shirt over his head, then returned to worshipping the bare torso in front of him.

"Jesse," Blaine panted, "God, Jesse..."

Their bodies moved together almost effortlessly. Both had been yearning for this, for each other. Within the nest five minutes, all clothing was cast aside as moans and pants reverberated off the dark walls.

"Jesse," Blaine whimpered – always the more verbal of the two at times like this. The older boy had begun sucking on his inner thigh, no doubt leaving a mark, but _wow, it felt good. _"I need you… I need… God…" he murmured, his hands knotting themselves in thick brown wavy hair.

Jesse removed his lips from the other boy's skin, resulting in a soft popping sound. He moved back up Blaine's body, kissing him gently on the nose. "Do you… Are you sure about this?" he whispered.

Blaine nodded recklessly, pulling Jesse's head towards him and demonstrating his conviction in a fervent open-mouthed kiss. Jesse pulled away, convinced. Jumping up, he almost leaped to his bedside locker, wrenching the door open and rummaging around, finally emerging with a condom and bottle of lube and making his way back to Blaine.

"Wait!" the younger boy exclaimed, jumping to his feet. He kissed Jesse's neck, his tongue brushing lightly against the skin there. "On your bed," he whispered, taking the taller boy's empty hand and pulling him down on top of the covers they had shared the night before. Dropping the lube and condom onto the bed, Jesse lifted the other boy and set him down again so that he was lying on his back in the middle of the large bed.

As he felt his legs being showered with kisses, Blaine's head buzzed with things he longed to say. He wanted to tell Jesse how perfect he was, and how much he needed him, and how utterly amazing he made Blaine feel. But he couldn't bring himself to voice any of these thoughts – this moment was so wrong and yet so perfect at the same time. He couldn't explain it, but he just didn't want to say anything he might later come to regret – this situation was screwed up enough already.

Instead, he simply whimpered as he felt Jesse's tongue run along his length once, before he stopped, sitting back on his heels and grinning wickedly.

"Not fair," Blaine protested. He sat up, leaning into the muscular chest in front of him and biting on Jesse's shoulder. His hand trailed down the smooth skin of Jesse's tanned chest and began pumping his throbbing member, eliciting a sharp gasp from the mouth now sucking on the shell of his ear.

Jesse moaned and grunted as Blaine's hand sped up, increasing in pressure. Hearing such incredibly masculine, lust-fuelled sounds only aroused Blaine further. His cock was now painfully hard. He tore his lips away from Jesse's shoulder to lick the pre-cum which had formed on the tip of his member.

"God," the other boy gasped, struggling to breathe at a steady pace. Pushing Blaine onto his back, he reached for the small bottle lying only inches away. He slicked his fingers quickly, clumsily. Seeing his best friend in such a state of inelegance never ceased to surprise Blaine. It made Jesse all the more desirable to him.

Blaine cried out as he felt a long, hot finger push inside of him forcefully. He screwed his eyes shut, trying to adjust to the feeling. With his free hand, Jesse stroked his leg comfortingly. "More," Blaine rasped, his eyes still tightly shut. He groaned as Jesse pushed another slicked finger through his entrance. "Please," he begged, "Please, Jesse, God…" There was no hope of him being able to formulate a full sentence, but of course, Jesse knew exactly what he needed. He pushed his fingers deeper inside of him, scissoring them and making Blaine gasp for air. He pumped them in and out of Blaine a few times before adding a third.

Blaine was moaning like crazy now, a string of indecipherable words escaping from his lips. Jesse's left hand moved to grip the skin of the smaller boy's lower back as he plunged his fingers as deep as they would go, grazing his prostate and making the body underneath him thrash and writhe with pleasure.

He swiftly removed his fingers and grabbed the condom, hastily rolling it on as his eyes devoured the sweating body beneath him. Blaine spread his legs as wide as he could, clutching at the no doubt expensive and soon to be ruined bed sheets below him. He opened his eyes, watching Jesse position himself over him, one arm on either side of his body, which was now glistening with sweat. Jesse lined himself up at Blaine's entrance, leaning down to kiss him deeply.

His entire body went rigid as he felt Jesse's thick cock pushing into him, achingly slowly. "Relax," Jesse whined, not stopping until he was fully inside of Blaine. Blaine was once again gasping for air. He stared into the blue eyes hovering over him, half-lidded and gazing dreamily back at him. "Move," he croaked.

Jesse pulled out of him almost fully, then slammed back into him. "Fuck!" Blaine cried. The pleasure was now beginning to conquer the pain. Jesse repeated this motion, his thrusts becoming deeper and rougher as Blaine's moans grew louder. They moved together, Blaine lifting his hips up and shoving back against Jesse's cock as his hand moved to his own.

"Blaine," Jesse panted, "Shit, Blaine, _fuck_…" They began to move faster, their chests rubbing together as he pushed further into Blaine.

"Oh my God!" Blaine almost screamed, because he couldn't remember anything ever feeling this good. He felt Jesse's cock slam against his prostate once, twice, three times, and now he really was screaming in pleasure. "Don't stop, oh God, don't ever stop!" he roared, pumping his own cock desperately.

Then his vision went white as Jesse thrust once more into his prostate, harder than ever before. His hips jolted upwards violently, still slamming against Jesse's cock as he rode out his orgasm.

A few seconds later, Jesse was coming too. They moved together frantically as they orgasmed, screaming each other's names in ecstasy.

They collapsed into each other, exhausted. Blaine languidly pressed a sloppy kiss to Jesse's neck, before the taller man pulled out of him slowly. Both whimpered slightly as their bodies separated, and Jesse fell onto the bed beside his best friend. Blaine glanced at the bed sheets. They had certainly made quite the mess, but neither had the energy to deal with it just yet. He turned his head, his eyes meeting Jesse's as his mind scrambled to find the right thing to say.

Then he realised – this could very well be the last time they ever did this. If ever there was a time to reject any careful choice of words and say how he really felt, it was now.

"Jesse," he said hoarsely.

"Yes?" Jesse's face was serene and calm.

"I'm in love with you."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**A/N: ****So, it's taken me a little while to update… Okay, quite a long while. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry! Coming up to the end of the school year… Exam time. It's just wonderful… As is sarcasm.**

**I do not own Glee… But I WILL change that someday.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. You're all very good people. :)**

**Warning: Major angst.**

**Enjoy!**

Jesse's expression was unreadable. They continued to stare into each other's eyes for a few moments, before Jesse closed his, pulling himself up into a sitting position ever so slowly. He massaged his temples with his fingers while Blaine stared anxiously up at him, awaiting a response.

_Oh God, _he thought. _Did I seriously just say that? He's going to freak out. Why did I say that?_

Jesse opened his eyes, glancing down at the other boy before quickly shifting his gaze to a spot on the far wall. "You don't mean that," he reasoned, exhaling heavily. "You were just… caught up in the moment."

Blaine considered this for a few seconds. He did mean it. He may not have intended to say it, but his mind was now screaming at him that it was true. He loved Jesse. He had loved him for a long time now.

"I did mean it," he said quietly.

Jesse shook his head.

"I did," he asserted, more firmly this time, his voice growing louder. "I meant it, Jesse. I love you." He sat up hurriedly, his hand moving to the small of the older boy's back.

Jesse jumped at his touch, standing up and yanking his boxers on. Blaine watched him intently as he began to pace back and forth, scratching his head and looking anywhere but at his best friend.

"You must have seen this coming," Blaine ventured. "I mean, come on Jesse, I've always adored you."

"You look up to me, Blaine."

"No. I don't. I mean... Even when we were kids, I never thought of you that way. I wasn't just following you around like some annoying little boy trying to be one of the older kids. We were always on the same level – you know that. It's one of the reasons why we're so close." Blaine was speaking rapidly now, the inner workings of his mind erupting from him without a second thought.

Jesse stopped pacing, observing the outbreak of words and emotions before him. He watched as Blaine allowed his feelings to spill out into the room, the atmosphere increasing in intensity with every syllable.

"We did everything together, Jesse. Yet I never got tired of you, not even for a second. Didn't you ever think that was a bit strange? We never fought – even when I was seven and you were nine, we never once argued. Pretty unusual, don't you think? But then, we never had a normal friendship."

Jesse gulped. For once, he had nothing to say.

"I was happy to keep things the way they were, though. I was fine being your best friend – I didn't need anything more, and I didn't want anything to go wrong. I didn't want to lose you." Blaine could hear his voice beginning to crack. He was always emotional after sex. It was probably to do with the fact that he only ever slept with one person, his true feelings for whom were usually kept bottled up inside him.

Suddenly, he became aware of his naked state. He grabbed a pillow from beside him, placing it awkwardly over his lap. "Ever since that first time we slept together last summer… I've been in love with you." Things were becoming perfectly clear in Blaine's head now. He knew exactly how he felt and what he wanted. The problem was that the clearer his feelings grew, the more muddled their relationship became.

The room was silent as Jesse pondered this for a moment. He moved cautiously back to the bed, perching on the edge of it, his back to Blaine. "I never should have let that happen… Last summer. I shouldn't have been your first. I… I was stupid. And irresponsible."

Blaine felt as if he had just been punched in the stomach. Jesse was regretting sleeping with him. He couldn't comprehend it. He had thought it so perfect, so _right_, that he was the one to take Blaine's virginity. He was still the only person with whom he had had sex. If he was completely honest, that's why he had been so formal and old-fashioned with Kurt. He wasn't ready to share such an experience with anyone else yet. He never felt quite as safe as when he was with Jesse.

Jesse turned his head to look at the younger boy. "This is all such a mess, Blainey," he whispered.

"Don't call me that," Blaine groaned. He had no idea what he was supposed to do now. Was Jesse regretting every time they had slept together, or just the fact that he had taken his best friend's virginity? He didn't want to ask. Either way, he didn't want to know the answer.

"Look," the older boy reasoned, turning his body so that he was sitting cross-legged, facing Blaine. "Next week, I'm going back to UCLA, and you… I mean, come on, Blaine! You have a _boyfriend_."

"But I'm so much closer to you." Blaine felt truly awful now. Not only was he betraying Kurt, but he was basically begging Jesse to reciprocate feelings which were already causing a major strain on their friendship.

He would soon be struggling to fight back tears – he could feel it. "Jesse," he declared defiantly. "Tell me, right now, that you don't love me back, and I promise never to bother you again."

Jesse face crumpled. He looked hurt… No, he looked scared. "Blaine…"

"Just say it," Blaine interrupted. "Please, just say it. Assure me that I have once again fallen for someone who doesn't really want me at all, and all of this has been for nothing."

Blaine was becoming increasingly more conscious of his nudity. He felt more vulnerable than he could ever remember being. Jesse shook his head slowly, reaching out a strong hand and placing it on Blaine's cheek.

"I don't know what to do, Blaine," he whispered, sounding more nervous than the infamous Jesse St. James would ever be with anyone other than the boy now staring into his eyes. "But I do love you." His voice cracked as he said this, and now Blaine really was fighting back tears. "Of course I do… God, I just... What the hell are we going to do?"

Blaine leaned in, planting a tender kiss on the familiar lips. Resting his forehead against Jesse's, he said softly, "I have absolutely no idea."

Jesse sighed, his eyes flickering over Blaine's body. "Well… I guess we should clean ourselves up," he murmured. Blaine smiled slightly. Jesse wiped away the single tear which had escaped Blaine's restraint. "Come on," he said, rising from the bed and dragging Blaine into the bathroom.

He turned on the shower, not letting go of Blaine's hand, and stepped under the warm stream of water, pulling the younger boy with him. The two simply stared at one another for a minute, allowing the pattering rhythm of the water to fill the silence. Jesse released Blaine's hand, replacing it with the shower gel he knew the smaller boy liked. Blaine grinned as Jesse's hands trailed over his body. It was as if his hands were washing away all of the worry and hurt, replacing it with a sense of love and security. Blaine returned the favour, relishing every scrap of contact with the smooth muscles of Jesse's tall frame. Their hands were gentler than they had been a mere half hour earlier, less urgent.

They took turns washing each other's hair, stopping frequently to allow their lips to meet, their kisses sweet and affectionate. It reminded Blaine of the first time they had kissed, all those years ago…

* * *

><p>"So how was the party?" Blaine had asked glumly, wishing he could have been there with his friend.<p>

"Are you _still _annoyed about that?" Jesse asked, tossing a rock carelessly into the river beside which they were sitting. "Blaine, I told you I would have brought you with me, but you're only twelve, and this was strictly teens only."

Blaine glared at him. "I'm not annoyed. I just don't see why you would even want to go to Tommy Carter's birthday. He's not even nice to you." Okay, maybe he was a little bit annoyed not to have been invited to a cool older kid's party along with his best friend, but it was true that Tommy hadn't been the kindest to Jesse. And Blaine didn't like it when people were unkind to his friend.

"Whatever!" Jesse rolled his eyes. "The party was awesome. There were girls there." Blaine snorted. Jesse had reached the stage where he considered girls to be superior to anything else on the planet. Blaine had not yet reached this stage (and never would). He took in the smug expression on his companion's face, and looked at him questioningly.

"We played Spin the Bottle," Jesse announced gleefully. "And I kissed Jenny Rogers!"

Blaine froze. "No way," he replied. "Why would you kiss Jenny Rogers? She's _so_ annoying."

"But she's hot!" Jesse exclaimed, gratification emanating from his face. "And her lips tasted _awesome_!" He collapsed onto the grass, sighing in happiness.

"Eugh," was all Blaine could manage. "I can't believe you did that. That's disgusting."

Jesse rolled over onto his stomach, fixing Blaine with a patronising look. "You're only saying that because you've never kissed anyone before."

"I don't want to kiss anyone, Jesse," Blaine cried. "It's… just… it's so… yucky!"

Jesse rolled his eyes, chuckling lightly. "Yucky? God, Blaine, you're such a child." Suddenly, inspiration hit the handsome young teenager. He sat up on his knees, his mouth twitching into a subtle grin.

"What?" Blaine huffed, a light blush appearing on his cheeks from the stark contrast between his kissing experience (or lack thereof) and his best friend's.

All of a sudden, Jesse lunged at him, tacking the younger boy to the ground and pinning his arms down by his sides.

"Jesse!" Blaine yelled, "Stop it. Ugh, why are you so-"

His words were cut off by Jesse's lips on his. The kiss was sweet and innocent, and lasted no more than half a second. The older boy jumped up, chuckling. "There. Now you've kissed someone." And with that, he turned on his heels, trotted towards the nearest tree and started to climb.

Blaine sat up slowly, trying to make sense of what had just occurred. He brought a hand to his lips. They were still tingling. Hmm… Maybe kissing wasn't so bad after all. But, wait – You were meant to kiss girls. Girls were meant to make you feel this way.

"Are you coming or not, Anderson?"

"Um… Yeah," Blaine answered, standing up to join his friend in clambering up what would later become their tree.

* * *

><p>The water stopped abruptly, pulling Blaine back to reality.<p>

"You okay?" Jesse asked, moving them out of the shower and grabbing a couple of towels from the linen closet. "You were in your own little world for a while there."

"Yeah," Blaine smiled. "I'm good." Jesse finished wrapping a towel around himself and proceeded to do the same to Blaine, his fingers grazing lightly over the younger boy's waist as he did so. Blaine's smile grew wider, and he looped his arms around Jesse's tanned neck. "I love you," he muttered, a little awkwardly, tilting his head upwards to plant a kiss on his cheek.

"Yeah," Jesse sighed. "I know."

Blaine snorted, removing one hand from the back of the taller boy's neck to swat him playfully on the arm.

"And I love you," Jesse murmured.

They did love each other. All they had to do was figure out what the hell they were supposed to do now.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**A/N: ****I'm BACK! … Okay, so it has taken me freaking ages to update. So sorry! However, I'm done with school for the summer now, so I shall be updating much more often. This chapter starts off in a terribly fluffy fashion, but do not despair – at a later point, if you try really hard, you might just see a snippet of plot… No but seriously, there is plot later on.**

**A****nyway… Here we go. Woohoo! Enjoy. And lemme know what you think, I beg of you! Reviews are always very lovely to read.**

**So… I guess this is now ****most definitely non-canon, some time after Original Song I suppose. Needless to say, Jesse is still in college.**

**Don't own Glee. If I did, Matthew Morrison's hair would be chemically straightened. I'm sorry if that upsets people, but in all seriousness, I just cannot deal with that mop of grease… (I don't know why I thought that sentence would somehow make my last statement less mean.)**

A few hours later, the boys were lying on the sofa in the sitting room in Jesse's wing, watching some mindless reality show – something about models, or porn stars, or… whatever. Their heads rested on either arm of the couch, their legs mangled together in the middle. Blaine somehow found himself with one foot lying idly on Jesse's hip, and proceeded to move it further up the older boy's body, pushing up the tight black T-shirt which had been hiding his abs (much to Blaine's annoyance).

Jesse slapped the unruly foot away, pulling his top back down to cover the strip of flesh which had been exposed, his eyes remaining on the décolletage of the hysterically weeping blonde on the screen.

Blaine huffed in irritation, giving up on the ludicrous excuse for a TV show and manoeuvring his small body so that he was directly facing Jesse. He simply observed for a minute or two as the older boy gazed lazily at the plasma screen, chuckling every now and then.

Blaine jerked his legs around impatiently, trying to find a suitable position. He eventually settled for sitting cross-legged, letting his head fall backwards onto the arm of the sofa and closing his eyes. He heard music begin to play, and a crowd cheering – evidently they were watching a dance show of some sort. Jesse was saying something about the dancers not being perfectly in time with the music. Blaine wasn't really paying attention; he only heard snatches of the cocky, self-assured evaluation: "Really, I could do so much better" … "perhaps a half second off-time" … "which isn't even a complicated form of dance" … The sound of his boastful musings faded away after a while, and Jesse was silent for a minute. Then: "Hot, though."

Blaine's eyes shot open, as his head jerked to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of what was happening on the screen. The same busty blonde girl was gliding across the stage in some sort of modern dance crap. (Okay, so maybe dancing wasn't Blaine's thing. What was the point? He was bouncy enough while singing already.) He rolled his eyes. "You and your bisexual hormones," he grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Oh, so you _were _listening?" Jesse smirked, swinging his legs off the sofa and scooting closer to Blaine, who scowled at him. "And here I thought I was boring you." His blue eyes twinkled as he regarded the younger boy, moving in closer again and resting one hand on his thigh.

The dark-haired boy rolled his eyes as Jesse leaned in to kiss him. The kiss was tender yet deep, and Blaine returned it needily. The older boy pulled away, smirking, and rested the hand not massaging Blaine's thigh on his shoulders. "You were slipping into your own little world again," Jesse murmured, searching the smaller boy's face for any signs of what he may have been thinking about.

Blaine merely shrugged. "I was bored," he complained. "This isn't exactly how I had planned on spending these last, what, twenty-four hours together?" Truth be told, he needed to do something right now. If he didn't keep himself occupied, he knew the guilt would start to overpower the contentment he was struggling to keep a hold of.

Jesse's brow creased in thought. "You're right," he said contemplatively, his blue eyes roaming over the chic, tastefully-decorated room. "So, what do you want to do?" He turned to face Blaine once again.

The smaller boy drew a blank. He was having trouble thinking of something to do when he was actually really beginning to enjoy just sitting there with Jesse stroking his leg. "I, uh… I…" he breathed, staring into Jesse's eyes. "I don't know." He laughed softly.

Jesse grinned. Finally, he was starting to notice the effect his hands had on Blaine. Blaine smiled too, and suddenly they were kissing amorously, their lips ardent and yearning. His hands found Jesse's toned back, caressing the muscles they found there, relishing every inch of the older boy's strong frame. Jesse groaned as he felt Blaine's tongue tracing his lips, opening his mouth ever so slightly. Blaine pushed inside, mapping out each part of the young man's mouth. Both moaned as their tongues danced together. As much as Blaine loved being intimate with Jesse in other ways, he really loved just kissing him. He adored the taste of Jesse's mouth, and the way he moved his tongue so that it put just the right amount of pressure on Blaine's, finding the perfect balance between teasing and satisfying.

Soon, both boys were moaning softly, and Blaine's heart rate increased radically as Jesse's hand moved closer and closer to his crotch. He wanted to pull away, to kiss and suck on the smooth skin of Jesse's neck, to mark the man he loved. He wanted Jesse to be his, and there was a big part of him that aspired for everyone to know such a fact. However, every time he attempted to remove his lips from Jesse's, the taller boy would pull him closer with the hand which was now grasping tightly at the curls at the back of Blaine's neck. Their lips continued to move together desperately, as if they were trying to fuse together.

Blaine gasped as he felt a strong hand pressing on his crotch. He felt the zipper of his jeans being fumbled with, and _God, _this was exactly the distraction he needed.

Suddenly, Maria's voice sounded through the house. "Boys! We're home!"

"And we decided to forego lunch at the club so that we could eat with our wonderful sons!" came the enthusiastic proclamation from Blaine's father.

Both boys sighed loudly as their mouths separated. Jesse loosened his hold on Blaine, but one hand still rested gently just below his belt buckle. "Jesse," he spoke hoarsely, "If I'm going to… calm down… enough to dine with your mom and my parents, you're going to have to remove your hand."

Jesse laughed, but complied with Blaine's wishes. For a minute they sat there merely staring at each other, their eyes lacklustre and their breathing heavy.

"Boys!" came the shrill voice of Maria St. James once again. "Come and be sociable!"

"Let's do this," Jesse chuckled, standing and striding from the room.

Blaine stood slowly, frowning slightly. It wasn't as if he had expected them to walk out of the room hand in hand or anything, but Jesse's sudden change in demeanour towards him had made him more than a little frustrated. Why was it so easy for him to just switch his feelings on and off? "Men," he grumbled, following his friend out of the room… Friend? Best friend? Lover? Wow, he really needed to figure some stuff out.

He walked into the kitchen to find Jesse charming the adults as usual. They hardly noticed him enter the room, so consumed were they in Jesse's ramblings about college. He pretended to listen for a while, but his mind was elsewhere. And yeah, there was that guilt again. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, and quickly discovered a text from Kurt.

_**Okay, that was the most stressful shopping session of my entire life! But so rewarding. You have to come over and see Carole's new look once you get home! xxx**_

The corners of Blaine's mouth twitched into a weak smile. Glancing up, he found that everyone's attention was still completely on the UCLA undergraduate. _As usual, _he thought.

He swiftly decided that he wanted, no, needed to hear Kurt's voice, and promptly excused himself. Jesse threw him a moment's questioning glance before enquiring as to when exactly the food was going to be revealed.

Blaine stepped out into the large, immaculately-kept garden, phone in hand. He dialled his boyfriend's number, which he had memorised months ago, and waited (extremely impatiently) for Kurt to answer.

"Blaine!" the countertenor squealed.

"Hi," Blaine chuckled as his foot played absent-mindedly with a patch of grass. "How are you?"

"I'm positively awesome," Kurt exclaimed. "I should definitely be a personal stylist. I mean, it's a wonder I'm not professionally trained. Just gifted, I suppose." A slight pause, then, "Oh! How are you?"

"I'm… fine," the Warbler said. Kurt sounded so happy. He couldn't bear to ruin that. "Great, actually," he lied.

"Oh, that's good." Blaine could just about hear his boyfriend smiling on the other end of the line. "So, you'll be home tomorrow afternoon, right?"

"Yeah, I will." The short boy bit his lip. "And um… K-Kurt?" he stuttered.

"Yes?" Kurt sounded a little shocked. Of course, he had never known Blaine, the incompetent and insecure stutterer. He only knew the polished, sophisticated, confident lead singer Blaine.

"When I g-get back, we, uh… we need to… to t-talk." He screwed up his eyes in exasperation with himself. _Well done, Blaine, _his internal voice scorned him sarcastically, _If you saying that doesn't worry him enough, the way you said it sure will!_

"Um… okay." Kurt's tone had changed entirely. "Are you going to tell me precisely what it is we need to talk about?"

Blaine could feel his voice beginning to break. He still had no idea what he was going to say to Kurt. "Just… M-Meet me at the L-Lima Bean? At t-two o'clock?"

"Sure. But-"

"I have to g-go," Blaine interrupted. "I'll… I'll see you tomorrow." And with that, he hung up, not giving Kurt a chance to respond.

_Idiot. Idiot. __You're an idiot!_

His inner monologue could be quite harsh sometimes. Stuffing his phone back into the front pocket of his jeans, he allowed himself to fall back against the wall of the house. How had he allowed things to become so messed up?

"Hey," Jesse called from a few feet away, slipping out of the kitchen and closing the door behind him. His eyes flickered between Blaine's fidgeting hands and distressed facial expression as he stepped warily towards him. "You wanna tell me what's going on?"

Blaine laughed coldly. "I don't know what's going on, Jesse," he whispered as his eyes filled with tears.

Jesse made to embrace him, presumably to comfort him, but Blaine turned away, wrapping his arms around his own torso. "I just d-don't know what the… what the hell I'm d-d-doing right now, you know?" he muttered. He let a few tears fall down his cheeks as he shifted awkwardly from one foot to another.

Jesse was at a loss for words. Glancing back over his shoulder into the kitchen, he ensured that the adults weren't watching them through the pristine windows which overlooked the giant garden. He then moved cautiously until he was standing right behind Blaine, and wrapped his arms around the younger boy's waist, resting his head on his shoulder. "I know," he whispered into his ear. "Blaine, I know. I understand. You know you can talk to me, Blainey. Just let me in." He squeezed his arms tightly around the boy he loved.

Tears were streaming silently down the shorter boy's face. "Jesse," he mumbled, "I love you." Jesse nuzzled his neck affectionately. "But I just… I d-don't kn-know if I can do this to Kurt." His voice cracked as he said his boyfriend's name. Jesse's arms loosened their grip around him, but he continued to listen to Blaine. He knew he hadn't yet finished what he had to say. "I l-love him, too," Blaine whispered.

Jesse pulled away immediately. Blaine whipped around to face him. His eyes were red from crying and his lips quivered as he tried to muster up something to say.

Jesse's face was void of any emotion. "We should go back inside," he said. "They'll be waiting for us. Clean your face up first, though."

"J-Jesse," Blaine croaked, "C-Can't we just t-t-talk about this?"

"I really don't feel like talking right now, Blaine," came the reply as the older boy turned and marched back into the house.

And once again, the withdrawn and emotionless monster had reared its callous head.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**A/N: Okay, I suck at updating. I really suck. However, people have still been reading, reviewing and adding this to their alerts/favourites, so thank you thank you THANK YOU! You**** are all totally awesome and I love you.**

**I don't own Glee. But I did see the live show. Darren Criss is… there are no words.**

**Oh, I changed the genre to Romance/Angst. I honestly don't know how I got this far without making "Angst" a genre. I mean, really. This story is just angst-tastic.**

**Here we go!**

Disaster.

That was the only word which could truly describe Blaine Anderson's life right now. He had lied to the two people who mattered most to him. He could feel the life he had built up over the last year crashing down around him. And it was all his own fault.

Rolling onto his side, he allowed his gaze to linger on the three photo frames which adorned Jesse's bedside table. Okay, so maybe it wasn't the best idea for him to be lying despondently on Jesse's bed, considering the circumstances, but it was so familiar and comforting. Plus, it smelled like Jesse, and Blaine wanted to memorise exactly what he smelled like. Was that so crazy? … Of course it was. Whatever. He needed to remember him. This might be the last time he ever saw his best friend, for all he knew. Not that they would still be best friends after this weekend. Distant memories, perhaps. Acquaintances who would occasionally bump into one another unexpectedly, making polite small talk and pretending to forget about all of the hurt they had caused one another all those years ago.

Shifting closer to the edge of the double bed, Blaine propped himself up on one elbow and looked at the photographs more closely. The largest picture was of Jesse clutching a large trophy after winning his fourth consecutive National Championship. Behind him stood the rest of Vocal Adrenaline, every one of them smiling smugly and cockily. Jesse seemed to be the only one who had an actual sense of achievement about his expression. He looked genuinely delighted. Of course, that could have easily been merely Blaine's warped view of Jesse. He always put him on a pedestal. Maybe if he had just… No. Blaine couldn't think about this now. He turned his attention to the other photos.

One was of the two friends at the St. James vacation house one summer. Blaine couldn't remember that day clearly. He looked about ten years old. They were both in shorts and T-shirts. They basically matched. He chuckled as he recalled just how similar they used to be. Two leaves growing on the same branch – identical, yet one slightly bigger than the other. But one of those leaves had blown away and landed somewhere completely different. Blaine was stuck on this branch, being blown this way and that by the wind yet never hard enough to allow him to escape.

The other picture was smaller than the other two, and it was facing the wall rather than out into the room. Blaine frowned, and reached out to turn the wooden frame around so that he could see the photo it encased.

"Oh," he whispered. His frown grew more pronounced as he stared at the girl in the picture. Jesse had his arm around her; he was looking affectionately at her as she flashed a dazzling smile towards the camera. Her long brown hair fell beautifully down past her shoulders. Her huge brown eyes sparkled. She looked so happy. More importantly, Jesse looked positively joyful. He never smiled at Blaine like that. He only smirked, or sniggered sardonically. But then, Blaine was no Rachel Berry.

Why did Jesse have this picture in his room? He had assured Blaine that she meant nothing to him. He was only pretending to like her because Shelby forced him to. He had never really… liked her. Had he? Had he been lying to Blaine all this time too? Was Rachel the reason why Jesse came back to Lima?

Blaine's mind was now racing with suspicions. Maris had said that Jesse was "out seeing some old friends" yesterday. Had he been with _her?_

_Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down, _he mentally implored himself. _This will all be totally explainable. I'll just ask Jesse…_

Not that Jesse was actually talking to him right now.

"Ugh!" Blaine half-yelled in frustration. When had everything become so fucking complicated? He tossed the small, light frame across the room, watching it as it tumbled across the hard wooden floor. He heard a distinct sound of glass cracking, and groaned at his own impetuosity. "Great," he grumbled, falling backwards so that he was once again lying flat on his back. "That's just _brilliant, _Blaine. That is exactly what will make Jesse want to forgive you." Sighing, he closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands. Why was he such a complete idiot?

He would surely have become immersed once more in a sea of internal self-criticism if his mother had not entered the room right at that moment. Oblivious as usual, she swanned over to the bed and perched her tiny frame on the end of it. The slight movement of the mattress was enough to pull Blaine out of his thought process, and he sat up to look at her, trying (albeit half-heartedly) to act as normal as possible.

"Blaine, sweetie," she said softly, "Jesse said you weren't feeling too well." Her son stayed silent. "Are you… feeling any better now?"

"Um… Yeah, sure, I guess so…" Blaine murmured quietly.

"Oh, that's good." She smiled sweetly at him, but remained sitting on the far end of the bed. "We didn't hear you come in… I thought maybe you were still outside. I went to find you, but…"

"I, um, I came back in through the side door. I just… wanted to lie down," Blaine said cautiously. _And remove all signs of crying from my damn face, _he thought. "Wait… you came looking for me?"

"Yes," his mother replied, chuckling nervously. "Of course I did. You're my son, Blaine. I just wanted to make sure you were alright." Blaine stared at her in confusion. Karen Anderson was not exactly a prime example of a compassionate mother. Sure, when he was a young child, she doted on him just as much as the next proud first-time parent. But ever since he came out, there had been a pretty noticeable distance between them. She usually just left him to look after himself, so the whole "You're my son and I'm here to take care of you" thing which was currently happening was something of a shock to Blaine.

"Blaine?" she asked tentatively, inching the tiniest bit closer to him. "Is everything okay?"

_Well, actually, no__. Everything is not okay, Mom. In fact, pretty much nothing is okay right now. I've just spent the day lying to my boyfriend and being fucked by your best friend's son. Her son who happened, in actual fact, to be my best friend. But not anymore! Oh, and I just threw a mini temper tantrum and ended up breaking something possibly of great importance to the person who owns this bed upon which we are currently sitting, all because of a picture. A picture of Rachel fucking Berry… With whom Jesse is possibly in love - which sucks, because I'm actually very much in love with him. And he hates me. So, to answer your question, no. A pretty gigantic "NO"._

"It's just that… You've been acting strange ever since we got here. Is there something going on?"

Blaine had half a mind to tell her about all that had happened between him and Jesse… No, that was a crazy idea. She wouldn't understand at all. In fact, she would probably see to it that they never visited the St. James family again.

He looked into his mother's chocolate-brown eyes, which were watching him intently as he scrambled to find something to say. "I just… miss Kurt." _Well, that is true…_

"Oh."

_Here it comes, _Blaine thought, _the awkward shift in the conversation to get as far away from the subject of my boyfriend as possible._

"Well… You can see him again soon. Why don't you just… rest some more? Dinner should be ready in about half an hour." She stood swiftly. Ah, so this time she was removing herself from the conversation in the literal sense of the word.

"But didn't you just eat?" Blaine asked, but his mother had already left. "Nice talking to you too, Mom," he sighed.

* * *

><p>Forty minutes later, Maria, Jesse and their three guests were sharing yet another elaborate and no doubt expensive dinner. Once again, the conversation found a strange balance between pleasant and undeniably awkward. Blaine spent the first half of the meal ignoring what was being said, focusing on trying to get Jesse's attention. But it was as if the troubled Warbler had become invisible to him.<p>

The second half of the meal was spent ignoring what was being said and, well, that was it really. He picked a spot on the wall and stared at it lazily. Occasionally, he thought he could feel Jesse's eyes peeking at him from the other side of the table, but he didn't care any more. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to talk to Jesse right now. Unfortunately, talking to Blaine was apparently precisely what Jesse wished to do.

"So, feeling better now, Blaine?" Jesse articulated slowly, interrupting whatever ridiculously dull discussion the adults were having.

"Yes, I'm fine now, thanks," Blaine replied, even more slowly.

Jesse considered this for a moment. "Good." He smiled feebly. "I'm glad."

The two stared at one another for a few seconds, before Jesse stood up. "That was delicious, Mom," he said, his voice bursting with eau du perfect son. "Now, if you'll excuse us, I do believe that Blaine and I have some serious catching up to do." _Catching up? _Any other parents may have asked what the hell they had been doing for the last twenty-four hours, but of course, Jesse was just so damn charming that in their eyes he could do no wrong.

"Coming, Blaine?" he called, already halfway out the door.

Oh, right. "Yeah, I'm coming. Thanks, Mrs. St-"

"Maria! Call me Maria! Honestly, Blaine, darling…" _Maria _giggled as she took another rather large sip of her red wine – definitely Blaine's cue to leave.

Blaine found Jesse leaning against the wall in the foyer. He approached him, but stayed a few feet away, just to be safe.

"Hey," Jesse said cheerfully. _What the hell? _Blaine was beginning to think he was bipolar.

"Hi."

"I think it would be a good idea for us not to fight when this is the last time we'll see each other for what could be quite a long time, don't you?" Without waiting for an answer, Jesse grabbed the smaller boy's hand and led him to the sitting room. Blaine used this time to contemplate the suggestion.

"While that sounds great," he said as he was pulled onto the sofa beside Jesse, "I also think we need to, you know, discuss things. Figure things out. Work out where we stand."

Jesse nodded reluctantly. "Sure. What would you like to discuss?"

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Well, first of all, I'm meeting Kurt tomorrow, and I'm going to tell him everything. I can't stand lying to him anymore."

"Okay," Jesse murmured, "Well… good. And do you anticipate an end to your relationship with him?"

Blaine thought about this for a moment. "Probably," he mused. "I don't think Kurt's going to want to stay with me after all of this."

He noticed that Jesse was still holding his hand, and he stared at their intertwined fingers as Jesse spoke. "And do you want to stay with him?" His voice was barely more than a whisper.

"Yes," Blaine breathed.

"Okay." Jesse loosened his grip on Blaine's hand, but did not let go. He pulled him up off the couch and didn't fully let go until they reached his bedroom.

The rest of the night was a blur. It wasn't that time was moving particularly quickly, or that much happened. It just seemed blurred to Blaine. Everything was in a haze. He finally knew where he stood, but that didn't seem to make his thoughts any clearer.

Whether Jesse never noticed the broken picture frame lying on the floor or he saw it but chose to ignore it, Blaine didn't know. But it was never mentioned. Not wanting to provoke another argument, Blaine decided not to bring up Rachel. Anyway, he wouldn't have even known how to talk about her with Jesse, at least, not without sounding completely jealous and selfish.

Both boys slept in Jesse's bed, side by side, but not touching. The last thing Blaine could recall before falling into a restless sleep was longing to reach out and grab Jesse's hand, just as the taller boy had done before. He wished that he hadn't said anything, and that he could sleep wrapped in Jesse's arms, feeling safe, secure, loved.

Instead, he felt empty and alone.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The next chapter is the Kurt chapter. And probably the final chapter. Well, maybe. I dunno. What do you think? … Review, review, REVIEW!**


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